Emotionally Preparing Yourself When Your Child Heads to College
As a parent, you’ve been preparing for this moment. You’ve thought about your child graduating and going off into the real world forever. It’s what you’ve raised them to do.
But now that the moment is finally here, you might find yourself struggling. You might still see your little baby walking through the door. Or, maybe you’re worried about what your life will be like after they head off to school on their own and move out of the house for the first time.
It’s perfectly normal to feel a rollercoaster of emotions when your child heads to college. Thankfully, there are things you can do to prepare yourself for the transition. Let’s cover a few helpful tips that will make it easier to even out your emotions.
Plan Ahead
It’s easy for emotions to feel like they’re all over the place when there are a lot of “unknown” factors surrounding you. You might not be able to hold your child’s hand while they go to college. But you can prepare them (and yourself) for the change by planning ahead as much as possible. Do a campus visit with them. Learn about their roommate. Talk to them about the classes they want to take, and go shopping with them to buy new items for their dorm. Doing things like this will help the process of moving seem more “real,” but it will also give you time to process it slowly rather than letting it hit you all at once.
Show Self-Compassion
If you find yourself struggling with your emotions after your child leaves, don’t feel the need to berate or judge yourself for it. Now is a time to be kind to yourself and show some compassion for your feelings. There’s no “timeline” for the emotions you’re supposed to feel, so give yourself some grace. As you decide to treat yourself kindly, be sure to practice self-care. Do something every day that boosts your mood and makes it easier to manage your stress. That might include things like exercising, journaling, or meditating. Self-care and self-compassion are key components in managing your emotions and eventually feeling better.
Lean Into Other Relationships
Your child will always have your heart, no matter how old they are or where they live. But, when they move away from home for the first time, your heart doesn’t have to go along with them completely. It’s normal to miss your child and think about them often. But don’t ignore other relationships in your life. In fact, you should be leaning on them now more than ever. Go out for coffee with your close friends. Express your feelings with your partner or spouse. Focus on your other children. You’ll quickly see you have so many other relationships that add value to your life.
Communicate Regularly
No one wants to get stereotyped as a “helicopter parent.” You might not be able to talk to your child every day after they leave for school. But encourage them to communicate with you as often as they feel comfortable. It doesn’t necessarily have to be an hour-long phone conversation every day. A simple text or email can go a long way. Use those forms of communication for everyday use, and plan Zoom or Skype “dates” once a week where you can actually see each other.
It’s never going to be easy to see your child walk out the door and head to college on their own. Remind yourself that this is what you’ve been working toward with them since they were little. It doesn’t mean you’re losing your child. It means that you’ve done a great job in raising them.
If you would like to hear more about parenting tips, or are interested in starting parenting counseling, please reach out to Nancy today to get started!