Navigating Anxiety About Getting Married

Wedding jitters. Cold feet. We’ve all heard about some of the common nerves people feel when it comes to getting married. But being nervous about walking down the aisle and having anxiety about getting married are two very different things.

It’s normal to have some butterflies and even deal with nerves. Getting married is a big deal, and you’re experiencing a major life change. No matter how happy and confident you are in the marriage, nerves are expected. 

Anxiety, however, can wreak havoc on your wedding plans. You might start to feel like you’re losing control, or you might doubt the marriage altogether. 

Thankfully, there are things you can do to manage and navigate anxiety about getting married in healthy, effective ways. 

Why Are You Feeling Anxious?

There are plenty of reasons why you might be experiencing anxiety about getting married. It starts with some of the same things stated above. It’s a major life change. You might be moving into a new home, living with someone for the first time, and making all of your decisions as a team rather than individually. 

If you’re prone to anxiety or have a history of it, those things can go from causing nerves and butterflies to being extremely worrisome. Anxiety fuels itself on the “what ifs” of every situation. It’s easy to let your mind wander and wonder what might happen if you argue about everything, or if your spouse is unfaithful, or if you’re unhappy in your home. 

Those “what ifs” can make you anxious about not only your wedding day but also about the marriage itself.

Signs of Anxiety

So, how can you tell if you’re just experiencing wedding day jitters or something more? First, consider how you’re feeling. Do you feel like you’re losing control of everything? Does the idea of getting married or going through a wedding evoke actual fear? 

It’s also important to examine your habits. If you’re having trouble sleeping, your eating habits have changed, or you’re avoiding things (or people) that you love, you could be dealing with something more than nerves.

Physical symptoms of anxiety include a racing heart, shaking, dry mouth, and stomach issues. Those tell-tale signs are hard to ignore when you’re going through them. So, if you start to experience those physical issues when you think about your wedding, you’re likely struggling with anxiety rather than jitters. 

What Can You Do?

Weddings are a lot of work, and not everything is going to be within your control. If the wedding day is what’s causing your anxiety, take a breath. Focus on the things in your control and accept the things that aren’t. 

Accept that you can only plan so much — and understand that it’s okay not to like the planning aspect of your wedding. It’s not always fun and can be stressful. Feeling bad about it doesn’t mean you feel bad about your marriage. 

Practice mindfulness as often as possible. It will keep you centered and focused on the present rather than allow your mind to drift off to the “what ifs” of the future. Take a few slow, deep breaths and let those anxious thoughts pass by. 

Finally, don’t isolate yourself. Family and friends are often more than willing to help with overwhelming wedding tasks. Delegating some responsibilities can take a lot of stress off of your shoulders and make it easier to fight back against anxiety. 

If you’re still struggling, consider talking to a mental health professional. Your anxiety might be rooted in something else, and it’s important to get to that root so you can start taking steps forward before your big day.